Today I have not forgiven my children.
How do you read it? I am in bed right now thinking if I have done it wrong or well.
Will i be wrong Probably.
They have done something, something they do too every day. That every day I tell you not to do. And that of course every day they do again.
It doesn't matter if I get angry. No matter what punishes them. Does not matter. They do it again.
I get angry, I get very angry. But it happens to me. They ask for forgiveness and I forgive them. The same day again the same.
So today I have not forgiven them. They have asked me for forgiveness and I have said no. That I am angry and that things are not fixed asking for forgiveness and doing the same thing again the next day.
And they have gone to bed without their forgiveness. With the dirty conscience of having done something wrong and that I have not forgiven them, as always.
I guess they felt bad and the truth is that I don't feel well. I do not like to go to bed angry and that they leave sad but less like to be in this routine of forgiveness and recidivism.
So here I am for the first time in more than a month writing on the blog. Because I need it. Tomorrow I will forgive you. Will they do it again? I do not know. Surely.
I will forgive them again. Clear. Every time. Because I am his mother. Because I love them. But today I have not forgiven them. I could anger. The tiredness I have exceeded the point of patience.
I don't know if I've done right or wrong. I do not know. But I don't want them to learn that by asking for forgiveness everything is fixed and the next day you can do it again.
Anyway, tomorrow will be an other day. Hopefully learn all of our mistakes.